Fantasy

Have you ever loved something so much it hurts?

Something, not someone. Well, maybe the idea of someone. Someone you don't know, someone who doesn't even know you exist. Not your high school crush, who obviously knows who you are. But someone you never met, someone who lives in another country, someone who has a different lifestyle. 

Someone you would love to meet but at the same time you wouldn't because you already have an idea of who he is, you're dating this perfect guy in your head... What if he's not that perfect in real life? What if he doesn't sing for you everyday? What if he's not that funny guy who makes you laugh? What if he doesn't kiss your forehead every morning - even before any romantic thing happens between you too - when you come down to the hotel's restaurant to have some breakfast? What if he doesn't love you like he does in your head?

Well, it doesn't matter really, you will never meet him. 

But you think about him all the time and it consumes you and it burns you like flames under your skin and you wake up and think about that fantasy guy and your heart starts beating so fast it almost comes out and you become one of those zombies with their organs out of their bodies and their mind stuck on human flesh - stuck on him.

But it doesn't matter really...

It's all in your head, you will never meet him, he will never know who you are. 

So you go back to just being a fan. Just another fan. 

And your heart slows down... And you're human again.

Fuckin' fantasy. Fuckin' mind.

But at least it gives you something to write about.